PopArtDiva is a Grumpy Old Woman tottering on the far edge of the change of life without a Geritol Martini in sight. Here there be the crotchety and cantankerous dragons of thought - Beware!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

TALES OF A JEDI CAT (Darth Feline): 13 Reasons Why I'm A Dog Person

Yeah, she's adorable. She's a soft fluffy little fur ball of cute. And she's also a perfect PILL! In case you're don't follow me on Twitter or you've missed some of my other blogs - I recently came into possession of a cat or rather she hijacked my life about a month ago.

Yes, I decided to keep her - there's not a local "no kill" shelter here and I couldn't leave her out in this heat - she was way too young and would never have survived more than a day or two at best. Last week I bought her a little kitty corner play house, a scratching post and some toys bigger than a piece of crumbled aluminum foil to play with - so I guess I've committed myself.

But I question my sanity and here's 13 reasons why and part of the reason I am primarily a dog person:
  1. Kittens have a schedule that goes like this: Eat like a pig, turn schizo for 30 to 40 minutes, haul ass to the litter box and Stink Up the House, haul ass back to the front room just for the hell of it and then crash for an hour. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. . . .
  2. This cat terrorizes Pixel - she thinks Pixel is a big cat toy (Pixel is my sweet little Yorkipoo)
  3. Kitty Tink also thinks Pixel might be her mother and in the middle of the night sneaks up on Pixel, grabs a nipple and nips. Middle of the night chaos ensues.
  4. Cats don't mind worth @#*!
  5. Cats are smart, they figure things out too quick and then you have to try to be smarter than they are in order to keep some level of control. It's a losing proposition.
  6. Cats love cupboards, crawl in when you're not looking and then disappear for hours while you try to hunt them down by following the meowing.
  7. Cats love closets for the same reason - whatever their reason is.
  8. Cats don't know how to use a rug you put down in front of the litter box to keep the litter from ending up all over the house.
  9. Cats do not come when you call - although I have figured out they will come once they get the hang of "kitty cookie" time.
  10. Cats will play hide and seek with you when you're not even aware you're playing a game - and they play with sharp little teeth and slashing little claws.
  11. Cats are flea farms - at least this one turned out to be. Eeuww, I hate fleas!
  12. Cats have no respect for your schedule - please reread #1 and understand that this happens 24/7. I have not had a full night's sleep since Tink disrupted my life.
  13. Cats are not dogs.
But, dammit, she is the cutest little @#*! that's ever skinned me alive.

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