THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!
We bloggers have all been bullied by The Great "Goo-Gaul" Gods into posting, posting, posting, ad nauseam. You see, according to the "Gooroos" (acolytes of the Great "Goo-Gaul" Gods) "Content is King" and posting once a day is not enough now. Posting twice to thrice a day is obligatory if you want that all hallowed "page rank".
I had happily been posting my little retro pop culture stories, a rant or two here, a martini recipe and a "tiny food" recipe every few days, skipping down Blogger Boulevard, happy as a kid in a candy store. Then one of those acolytes burst my bubble with a spam "buy my how to get rich yesterday" email telling me I was never going to be on the first page of a search engine if I didn't post my fingers to the nubs.
I panicked, I fretted, I posted half my story in the morning, half my story in the afternoon. I pirated videos from YouTube (oh, okay I still do that) and wracked my festering brain for MORE CONTENT! I woke up at 3 a.m. wondering, "OMG, what will I post tomorrow?"
Then I got pissed off because The Great "Goo-Gaul" Gods and their toady purveyors of constant content had taken the joy out of my blogging. Yup, just like any other religion, They took all the fun out of it!
The Seven Commandments of Blogging for Ranking?
- There shall be no other Search Engines Before Us.
- Ye shall not take the name of thy Search Engine in vain.
- Ye shall not spill Pepsi on the Hosts of the Keyboard.
- Ye shall not commit Yahoo.
- Ye shall not covet the top 100 blogs.
- Ye shall honor the Search Algorithm for it is Holy.
- Ye shall never have fun.
Written in response to: David Amulet, R.I.P.?
ON THE UPSIDE: I said it before and I'll say it again - if I ain't got nothin' to say I ain't saying nothin' - I shall write no post before it's time - or when I have a new piece of art to sell.
P.S. Here's some of my new Martini Art!Visit The BRAT in the HAT RANTORIUM EMPORIUM for bratty, cheeky, irreverent, humorous, tongue in cheek GIFTS, APPAREL, CARDS & OTHER GROUCH GOODIES!
12 comments:
Oh boy, Brat--
Have you got that right! Blog, blog, blog, turns into blah, blah, blah when too much of a search for content makes me go brain dead. (Not too difficult these days!)
However you, my friend, are one clever lady and I always love reading your bratty commentary on the world. As we old gals like to say, "Grump is good!"
Feisty - this push for more content, more content makes for some very dull blogs out there!
I look for those with personality and some vinegar - I like things a little tart!
Did you know there were 70 million blogs online in 2005??? I can't imagine how many are out there now - and most of them are junk!
Here! Here! I couldn't agree with you more.
Karen - If one is blogging for fun it's not a big deal.
However if there is hope to make money from our blogs then we are all sitting out in an open field, close to the one tree there whilst the Gods of Search Engine Optimization fling the lightening strikes of ever changing ranking algorithms upon our virtual reality!
Can anyone say "lightening rod"?
Great post, here's another one for you:
"Ye shall have no other ads, especially ad p o s t s, than g.... ads, or they shall "smack" you"
Yep, been there, rank lowered or removed because a d p o s t s ... heaven forbid we should make a few pennies doing this from another source!
grrrr. But it hasn't stopped me and the blogs do just as well anyway, so :-b to the googs...waiting to seem what they "smack down" this weekend :-)
Take care!
Claudia
Claudia - LOL! Here's the headline:
THE GREAT GOOGLE SMACK DOWN!!!!
Goliath Wins This One As Bloggers Drop in Page Rank For Practicing Non-Monopoly Monetization!
hahahahaha!
What a relief! Leave it to the Brat to say what many of us have thought but never had the courage to express. Posting everday just for the sake of a ranking makes for some VERY snoozy blogs! Personally, if I don't have anything of interest to say, I'd rather not say anything at all. And I have a challenge for all of you "twice a day bloggers". Have you ever looked to see how long somebody actually STAYS on your blog? That to me matters more than rankings and number of visits.
Melodieann - Your comment about how long people stay on blogs is extremely relevant! If they don't stay long what's the point??
I love the idea of sending out a challenge to all bloggers to post only real content! I wonder if we could start a meme to do that?
Let me think on it - I have to take off my Brat Hat and put on my Thinking Cap! Maybe I'll create a meme right here on Brat?
I'll let you know!
Thanks for the shout out. I'm just posting at my pace, every week or 10 days as things strike me (and as I have the time). I hope you keep doing the same.
David - thanks for stopping by my response to your blog post about blogging, lol!
I do plan on continuing my blogging without any undue stress related to the "Page Rank Commandments"!
Phooey to the hooey, I shall post no blog before it's time!
This was such a funny post!
"Thou shalt not commit Yahoo" almost sent me over the edge with uncontrollable laughter... but its true. You can get so panicked and caught up in how to drive your blog/website, that it becomes a full-time job in itself! Its incredible!
Awhile back I stopped caring. I post to my blog daily and when I have some extra time to kill, I head over to some big time blogs and read their comments... there I find links to other people's blogs (which is how I found you way back when!) and comment if I like their content. They always reciprocate by reading my blog to find out who the unknown person is reading their blog, and hopefully they click around (and come back!)... I have found that if I do this once a week or so, I start really building up a following and then my PR starts going up. And if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen.
I can't sweat it anymore.
I love the header on this when the title comes out of your hat! Great job!
Just Me - Thanks and I'm glad you enjoyed the Yahoo joke. As an artist yourself you suffer along with me to post creative content!
I always wondered if those who created Yahoo knew about the reference in Gulliver's Travels where the intelligent, talking horses called the stone age, backwards humans Yahoos and whether that was a reflection on what a fledgling Yahoo thought of their future user base???
Anyhoo - thanks for stopping by and agreeing with me - I like it when people agree with me, lol!
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